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“I appreciate that. And it is, so please don’t worry. You’ve probably worked out by now that Tom and I are… involved.” She winced at her own hesitation over choosing a word, but she simply didn’t know how else to describe their relationship, which seemed to be a recurring theme just lately. “Anyway,” she continued brightly, “like I said to you earlier, my situation is incredibly complicated. And there was no way I was going to try to explain it to you in a public place, where we might have been overheard. I’m,” she reached out and took Thomas’s hand, “we’re still figuring everything out and coming to terms with it ourselves, and there are lots of variables, so it’s not something I want getting out. People wouldn’t understand.”
“All right…” Arjun said, looking down at their linked hands, then at each of their faces in turn. “You have my word that whatever you tell me won’t go any further.” He gave a gentle smile. “I work in emerging technology—I know how to keep secrets.”
“I guess you do,” Mia replied, returning his smile. She gave Thomas’s hand a little squeeze, but whether it was to reassure him or herself, she couldn’t be sure. “Now I have your word, and there are no prying ears, I will tell you everything. Arjun, I am in multiple relationships. It’s all happened over the past few weeks, and to be honest, half of the time I don’t believe it myself. But what I’d like you to know before I continue is that when I said to you before that I wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend, I was telling you the truth. At that point I was sleeping with Tom, but on a casual basis—we had no idea what it would develop into. And I was just friends with Elias and Alex—though that also developed into something else that particular weekend.” She blew out a breath, then gave a short laugh. “Wow, it all kicked off that weekend, actually—Elias and Alex, and I met you, too. The weekend that changed my life.”
She stopped for a moment and carefully examined his face for a reaction. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it certainly hadn’t been a shrug.
His expression neutral, he said, “I’m guessing, since Tom is sitting here and doesn’t look at all surprised by what you’re telling me, that your various partners all know about each other. Therefore this isn’t cheating, or anything remotely dishonest. It is…” He narrowed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, clearly thinking hard. Then he snapped his fingers loudly, making Mia and Thomas jump. “Polyandry. That’s the word. One woman involved with multiple men. I seem to recall a reference to it in ancient Hinduism, though I don’t remember the details.”
For the second time that day, Mia looked at Thomas to find his expression mirroring hers. This time they weren’t horrified; they were flabbergasted. Arjun seemed completely unruffled by what Mia had just told him. And he not only understood what it was—he knew the technical term for it!
Mia forced herself to look back at Arjun, wondering if perhaps his reaction had been delayed, and he was about to jump up in disgust and leave. If he was, she wished he’d just get on with it—like ripping a plaster off quickly to reduce the overall pain. When the silence had stretched long past uncomfortable, Mia swallowed hard, then said, “S-so… you don’t have a problem with it?”
Another shrug. “Not at all. I’m a laid-back, modern guy. As long as nobody is getting hurt, I say live and let live. And you’re obviously all getting something out of it, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it, would you? Though admittedly I would be very interested to hear how it came about. The only thing I don’t understand is why you’re so desperate to keep it secret. If you’ll pardon me being so abrupt, it’s almost like you’re ashamed.”
His words gave Mia pause—the last sentence in particular. Was she ashamed? Current circumstances meant that keeping it under wraps was essential. But after the wedding, after the estate was officially, unequivocally hers, could she see herself and the others making their situation public? Was it even anybody else’s business? She sighed and began twiddling her hair. “I’m not ashamed, it’s just… there’s more to the story.”
Arjun raised his eyebrows. “I’m all ears.”
Gripping Thomas’s hand to give her strength, she told him the rest. He already knew the part about her father’s passing, of course, but he listened in silence, nodding and occasionally looking surprised as she described the events of the last few months, and how they’d led to her being involved with three men, and engaged to be married to one of them. On a roll, she finished by saying, “And that’s why when you said you were too late, I blurted out that you weren’t. Because apparently, I’m not a one-man woman. So if you’re up for joining in with this crazy whirlwind that is my life, then great. But if you’re not, I’ll completely understand—though I would hope we can still be friends.
“Like I said, we’re still figuring things out ourselves, and Thomas hasn’t met Elias and Alex yet, and I haven’t told them about him. It’s far from being a settled situation, but then, when has anything in life ever been settled? But to borrow your comment, because it was spot on, nobody is getting hurt. And as soon as I’ve managed to get Elias and Alex in a room together and told them about Tom, then met Elias’s parents, it will be full steam ahead. On relationships, on the wedding, and on life. No more limbo, aversions or half-truths.”
“That’s not strictly true, is it?” Arjun said. Thomas’s fingers tensed in hers, and she squeezed them warningly. “It might be that everyone you’re involved with knows the truth, but the outside world is going to believe you’re simply engaged to Elias.”
“And why do they need to know anything else?” Thomas put in, his tone verging on anger. “It’s nobody’s business, Arjun. Personally, I couldn’t give a shit who knows—but then I’ve got no family I might lose or fall out with over it, and I’m fairly certain it’s not going to affect my job security.” He let out a chuckle. “But it’s different for the others. Elias and Alex have parents, other family, employers, who might not like the idea and could make their lives difficult. Alex is a doctor, a public figure. That can’t be taken lightly. As much as we all wish prejudices and bigots didn’t exist, they do.”
For a minute or two, the only sound in the room was Arjun tapping his fingertips rapidly against the table, like he was sending a telegram. It was obvious to Mia he was having the same kind of internal thought process that she struggled with every day. Weighing up pros and cons, throwing in what-ifs, wondering if it would all be worth it in the end…
Eventually he stopped tapping and looked up and met her eyes. “I like you, Mia, very much,” he said seriously. Her heart sunk. There was a but coming, she was sure of it. “And given everything you’ve told me, I understand why it appeals to you, and why it might just work out. But I’m not sure if there’s room for another man in your life—in your heart. It’s obvious how much you care, how passionate you are, and from my perspective having a girlfriend that doesn’t require me to be around all the time is incredibly attractive, since I’m so busy, but at the same time I’m not sure if I would get what I need from a relationship if my partner’s attentions were divided. Does that make sense?”
Mia nodded slowly. “Yes, it makes perfect sense, and I appreciate your honesty. But in a lot of ways it’s just like a relationship between two people—you have to start somewhere, get to know each other, and so on. If you fall in love and want to stay together, great. If you don’t, you break up and go your separate ways. In that respect, it’s no different, is it? You wouldn’t be tied in to anything—if you find it’s not for you, or I’m not for you, or vice versa, then it ends. It’s pessimistic to even be thinking like that, but you never gain anything in life without taking a chance. A man who’s achieved what you have should be well aware of that.”
He looked down at the table, and Thomas’s fingers tensed again, but she knew it was in anticipation this time, rather than anger.
When Arjun lifted his head again, she knew from the expression on his face that her words had struck a chord. Her pulse thundered so loudly in her ears that she had to strain to hear him say, “Okay, Mia. Y
ou’re right. And I’m willing to take a chance, to join in with your crazy whirlwind of a life.”
Chapter Thirteen
Three days later, Mia was just heading out of the bathroom after her shower when she heard her mobile phone ringing. She picked up her pace into her bedroom and over to the bedside table, where the device flashed and buzzed merrily away. Alex Cartwright calling.
Mia’s pulse skipped. They’d exchanged text messages since she’d thanked him for the flowers, but hadn’t yet arranged to speak on the phone. She snatched up the device and answered it. “Hello?”
“Mia! I was afraid I wouldn’t reach you. I’m not calling too late, am I?”
She glanced at the clock on the wall. 9.18p.m. She chuckled. “No, it’s fine. I might be working tomorrow, but it’s not quite my bedtime yet.”
“Oh.” There was a whoosh which she imagined was his sigh of relief. “That’s all right, then. You never know what time people go to bed, do you? Some get up at five o’clock in the morning, all bright-eyed and full of energy, but then crash out by this sort of time. Others get up later and go to bed later.”
She smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed, tucking her towel more tightly around her body. Was he waffling because he was nervous about talking to her? It didn’t seem like him to be nervous, but then they’d never spoken without Elias present. Or maybe he was one of those people that was better at conversation in person than on the phone. “Yes, I guess you’re right. For the record, I fall into the latter camp. I get up around seven and go to bed usually between half ten and eleven during the week. I’d be like a zombie if I tried to get up at five! The only time I’d get up that early was if I was catching a plane. Anyway, I take it you didn’t call me to talk about schedules…”
Now it was his turn to chuckle. “No, of course not. Sorry. I know we said we’d have a chat soon just to catch up since it’s been so long, but I’m actually phoning now with a proposition.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Oh yes? I’m intrigued… do tell.”
“I realise it’s short notice, and probably more than a bit presumptuous, but because I’ve worked such ridiculous hours lately, I’m being forced to take some time off—starting now. Which means that for the first time in what feels like forever, I have the weekend off. I spoke to Elias, and he wondered if this weekend was a good time for us to come and visit you.”
Visit me? Here? But… Fuck! She scrunched the edge of the towel up in her fingers as her mind raced and her stomach tied itself in knots. “Er…”
“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay if you already have plans, or it’s too short notice or whatever. We don’t expect you to drop everything, it’s just an opportunity came up so I decided to take advantage of it.”
Mia took a deep breath, but it did little to slow her pounding heart. Everything was happening completely in the wrong order. Elias and Alex knowing about Thomas. Introducing the three of them. Then maybe speaking to Arjun and going through the process all over again. It had all gone topsy-turvy. But when so many people, schedules, and locations were involved, it was always going to be unpredictable and hard to manage. There was no way she’d be able to control everything and make sure it happened how she wanted it to. And why the hell should she? This was life, relationships, not a meeting or a presentation with a set schedule or layout. She was their girlfriend, fiancée, whatever, not their fucking boss!
With that in mind, Mia decided to simply let go, to stop trying to micromanage everything. It was ridiculous, stressful, and completely unfair on everyone involved—the men most of all. She hadn’t realised what a control freak she was being, and now she did, she felt like the biggest bitch ever. It wasn’t right to expect everything to be on her terms all the time. She had to be flexible, and think of others more, put them first. Maybe it was only child syndrome.
Whatever it was, she was determined to put it right, starting now.
“Mia?” came Alex’s tentative voice down the phone. “Are you still there, honey?”
“Yes,” she replied softly, the knots in her stomach loosening. “I’m sorry. I just had an… epiphany, I suppose. Anyway, never mind that—I’d love the two of you to visit. When do you want to come up? Will you be driving, or do you need me to pick you up from the station? Whatever’s best for you guys—just let me know.” Well done, Mia. Start as you mean to go on.
There was a brief pause, then, “Er, you know what? I have no idea. I basically told Elias I’d ask you about it, and that’s as far as it got. Now I know you’re available, I’ll speak to him again to make the arrangements. I reckon we’ll drive—it’s much more flexible and gives Elias an excuse to get his car out of the garage and give it a blast on the motorway. We’ll probably leave right after Elias finishes work tomorrow—is that okay? Friday night traffic on the M25 won’t be much fun, but hopefully it won’t take us more than a couple of hours to get to you.”
“Yes, of course. That’s fine.” The knots in her stomach had disappeared altogether now, to be replaced with a frisson of excitement. She was going to see Elias and Alex tomorrow. In less than twenty-four hours! “Just let me know once you’ve spoken to him what the arrangements are so I know when to expect you. I’ll whip up something to eat.”
“Oh, there’s no need to go to any trouble, Mia. We can grab something on the motorway.”
“Nonsense. Why would you eat fast food rubbish when it’s no problem at all for me to make something? I’m no Nigella Lawson, but I can put together a half-decent meal.” Then she remembered: she was supposed to be letting go of control. Maybe they wanted to go to a service station and get something. “Unless you’d prefer to stop on the way, stretch your legs or whatever. It’s totally up to you. I don’t mind either way, as long as I know what I’m doing.”
“As soon as I’ve spoken to Elias, I will let you know. Right, I will let you go then, Mia. I’d planned to chat with you for a while when we managed to speak on the phone, but now I know I’m seeing you soon, I’d rather wait until then. I need to get some washing done so I can get it dried and ironed tomorrow. Got to look presentable for my girl, haven’t I?” He chuckled.
Mia joined in, more because, for some reason, the thought of Alex doing his own washing, drying, and ironing was amusing. And odd. A man with his means and limited free time would surely be better off paying someone to do that for him? But then, maybe he preferred to do it himself. Even enjoyed it? Or maybe he usually did have someone do it for him, but wanted to have certain clothes ready for the weekend and the person that took care of it wasn’t due in to work for a few days. There was so much she still didn’t know about him, but now she would have further opportunity to learn. “Alex,” she said dryly, “you could turn up in scruffy jeans and a creased T-shirt and I wouldn’t care. It’s you I want to see, not your bloody clothes.”
“Duly noted, and appreciated. Also; likewise. Though…” he paused, and she wasn’t sure if it was for dramatic effect or to think of what he wanted to say next, “if you answer the door in your nightwear, I certainly won’t complain.”
A splutter of laughter escaped Mia’s lips. “You might, if you knew what I wear for bed most of the time. I’m more of a fluffy pyjamas kind of girl, especially at this time of year.”
“I bet you look adorable in them.”
“Maybe you’ll find out, if you’re really lucky. I’ll see you tomorrow, Alex. Looking forward to it already.”
“Me too. Goodnight, Mia.”
“Night.”
She was still smiling when she’d finished drying off, applying moisturiser and lotion to her face and body, combing her hair, and putting on said fluffy pyjamas. She didn’t care that their visit was short notice—she was thrilled at the prospect of seeing them. Her instinct when she’d first put the phone down was to put some clothes on and rush to Thomas’s cottage to let him know what was going on, but then she’d remembered he wasn’t there. Her heart had plummeted, then risen. She missed him when he wasn’t around, but actu
ally, the fact he’d gone to a gardening show, and wasn’t due to return until Saturday afternoon, was excellent timing. It meant she could finally fill Elias and Alex in on Thomas’s existence and importance to her without feeling she had to get him to hide away in his cottage until it was done, like he was some dirty secret.
She’d tell them about Arjun while she was at it. Then that would be it—everything would be completely out in the open and she could stop worrying about what she said to who and concentrate on moving forward. On planning a wedding, for God’s sake! After meeting Elias’s parents and the official announcement, that was. And that was nothing to do with control—that had to be done in a certain way so as not to upset Elias’s parents, and in turn, Elias.
After hanging her wet towel up in the bathroom, Mia went around the house and double checked all the doors were locked—she didn’t bother with the windows since it’d been far too cold to have any of them open in any case. Then, once she was snuggled up in her bed with its mountain of pillows and cushions, and thick winter duvet, she grabbed her phone.
First, she typed out a text message to Thomas.
Just had a call from Alex. He and Elias are coming up for the weekend. I will fill them in on everything, (including Arjun) and then you can meet them… She stopped and frowned, realising she was inadvertently doing it again—being controlling. She deleted the last four words and typed: if you’d like to meet them once you get home, that would be fantastic. Hope you’ve arrived safely at the hotel (please let me know) and that the show is fun and provides you with lots of inspiration. Missing you loads already. Love you, Mia xxx
She hit send, then composed a text to Elias.
Hey you. Just heard the excellent news. Been meaning to ask you all week but kept forgetting—I’ve got a brain like a sieve just now. Does Alex know we’re engaged? I didn’t want to say anything in case you hadn’t told him yet, or if you wanted us to tell him together. Please let me know. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Mia xxx